Running and Fandoms

Time to confess. Linking up with ALL THE PEOPLE this week, hashtag style.

Turkey Day Confessions

I love that the humpday confessions are back (and that I'm totally late in realizing that) so it's time for some Turkey Day Confessions !

I'm Not Ready

I woke up on Tuesday with a sore throat and body aches. I left work early, holed myself up on the couch and binge watched Friends.  For the past 3 days, I have loaded up on Vitamin C & E, drowned myself in hot tea and honey and soup and Coldeeze.  It's Thursday, and while I don't feel worse, I don't feel like I could run a half marathon. I have a doctors appointment today because of course I have a cold or strep or the plague something.

My thoughts over the past few days:

It's Raining, It's Pouring

Real Talk: The universe is out to get me.

Okay, probably not, but it certainly feels that way right now.  My birthday is on Thrusday and honestly, I just want to relax.  Zero stress. Please.  Ugh.  Why is it so bad, you ask ?

• We had to put down sir Loki last week.  He was my first ever pet rat and I loved him more than I thought possible. Insert broken heart emoji here.  It was just the worst.  Sleep well, little dude. 

• I found out that my job wants to convert my contract position to a full time position (which is what they said when they originally hired me).  Which is super yay.  Except they want to offer me an "assistant" position over the "coordinator" position that I've been doing, which results in a $6/hour pay cut.  Which means I'll have to get a part time job on top of a normal 40/week full time job just to pay my monthly bills and oh, I don't know...eat food ?  Unfortunately this just causes more and more stress for the long run unless I can get a new job pronto.
• B and I almost broke up.  No, I don't want to talk about, and yes we're good again. Still super stressful.
• I dropped my phone in water and now the speaker isn't working well.  Insignificant, I know, but when you're already having a shitty time, it kinda just makes it worse.
• The brakes on my car have decided that they no longer want to do the one job they have: stopping my car.  So now it's currently in the shop.  For who knows how long and for some ungodly amount of dollars (that I don't have and REALLY don't have a way of making up), I'm sure.

Suffice to say, my stress level is so high, I constantly feel like I can't breathe.  Literally, I've almost used up my inhaler for nothing other than just trying to not hyperventilate from stress. I'm not trying to complain, but honestly I just need to get it all out. 

I've enlisted the help of a trusted friend to help with the resume (even though she's insanely busy and I feel terrible asking but I'm desperate for the help and I just know she's amazing at what she does and this is the longest sentence of my life but I love her).  I'm trying to focus on things I can control and trying to stay positive. It's not working very well, but points for trying right ? I'm hoping that everything will balance itself out and this means that super awesome amazing things are going to happen for me soon.  I really hope so, otherwise I think I might just have a heart attack. 

Any suggestions to help manage stress ?!

Is Netflix-ing a job ?

Yay Wednesdays ! Yay Confession time ! Boo I have no one to link up to for these anymore. Oh well.  I have random thoughts that only do well during these confession posts, so here you are !

// I want someone to pay me to watch Netflix and hang out on the internet all day.  How does one make this happen ?

// I know the week is half over, but I seriously wish it was Friday already.

// My dogs are spoiled.  And I do nothing to stop it. I no longer make my bed because this happens as soon as I get up:

// I was at Krispy Kreme with B the other day, pointing out all the donuts I wanted (even though I always get original glazed) and I turned to him and said, "That's how rich I want to be.  I want to be able to walk into a donut shop and say to the guy, 'I'll take them all.'" For the record, I don't have a donuts addiction, I can stop anytime I want.

What donuts ? I didn't eat them all if that's what you're asking.

// Netflix put up the final season of White Collar, so naturally I have to watch the whole thing from the beginning and there goes my life.  Also, Doctor Who Series 8 will make an appearance in August. Goodbye any free time I've ever had.

Since I really don't want to do much of anything today, I'll leave you with some White Collar bloopers for when you randomly need a laugh (and no, you don't need to know anything about the show to watch people mess up !)

Leave some random confessions in the comments so I don't feel so alone :P

What's Wrong With You ?

It's Wednesday, people of blogland ! I love confession days because it allows me to get my rage out.  A day to get out all the wonderful things I want to say so desperately, but don't due to political correctness, professionalism, or just not wanting to be a rude, raging bitch. WHOO ! This weeks confession theme is brought to you by: my office.  Or offices in general.  Or any type of job that requires you to interact with people.  Let's begin.

// My office is my space. Not the place for emo bands, more like my personal bubble.  DO NOT COME BEHIND MY DESK.  I don't walk into your office and start touching your stuff, do I ? Exactly.

// What is it about an office environment that automatically makes everyone SLOBS ? I have called the exterminator 4 times in the past 2 weeks because my office seems to have an infestation of ants.  Where ? Oh, around the chips on the floor.  And the rouge M&M chilling over here by the window.  Wait, why are these things over here ? Are you, a bunch of 30 something and up adults, throwing junk food at each other ? And then not cleaning it up ? And then wonder why you have ants ?

// Speed Racer in the parking lot. Stop it. Let people cross the cross walk.  It's not going to kill you. And when you speed to only pull up in front of the building to park in a spot that you know you're not supposed to park (because it's a walkway and NOT a place for you to chill) - you look like the douche bag you really are. Knock it off.

// To the people that ask my boss a question, then come and ask me the same question, hoping for a different answer: We are not your parents.  If mommy says no, and you ask daddy, the answer will be "What did mommy say?" Grow up.

// Meetings.  I waste an hour of my day every Wednesday to put together a list that tells someone how to do their job.  Because otherwise they don't do it.  First, I have to have a meeting with my boss to talk about all the things we need to address...I HAVE TO HAVE A MEETING ABOUT THE MEETING WE'RE GOING TO HAVE. And then I sit through the actual meeting of telling this person what to do - basically reading off the list I made in the first meeting.  And the whole time, they sit there, listing all the excuses of why they haven't done it, can't do it, didn't know they were supposed to do it.  Why are you still employed ?!

All the office rage at stupid people.

Do you have people like this where you work ?

The List You Won't see on Buzzfeed

I need some major humpday confessionage today because sometimes you just have to let everything out in a no holds barred, balls to the walls, brutally honest way.

// My stress level is insane. It's getting a little ridiculous and out of control and I really wish it would stop.

// Thanks to stress, my sleeping has become basically non-existent. What I wouldn't give for a whole night of sleeping and not waking up once. I genuinely can't remember the last time that happened, it's been that long.

// My life has so many really cool things going on right now but stress is getting in the way of me enjoying a lot of it.  See the theme ? I WANT MY STRESS TO GO AWAY PLEASE AND THANK YOU.

// I'm not above asking for help.  But if I ask for help, you say yes, and then don't actually help...I won't ask you again. This infuriates me to no end.

// Right now, I want a running buddy more than anything in this world.  I want someone to do run/walk with me for the measly 2 miles my lungs can manage currently.  I want it so badly, I've actually cried about it.  Not like every run, every day, kind of running buddy, but someone that knows a good place to run and will keep me company, push me a little, and be the encouragement I so badly need right now.

// I want to be healthy but I have no idea where to start.  Internet research makes my head spin and I'm too broke to hire a nutritionist/trainer.  I had a personal trainer for a year (a giant waste) and learned maybe 2 things.  One of which is that I am not allowed to be left alone with weights.  The other is that I hate people (okay, I already knew that one, the gym just kind of reinforces it.)

// I have to go to the dentist today and I may or may not have cried at least once today from fear.  And it's only a cleaning.  Yay laughing gas !

// I want a work schedule that is more conducive to being outside and reading.  More sun = happy Lisa.

I know these feelings of rage and wanting to cry constantly will pass, and I will be back to being mildly optimistic and happy, but the past few weeks I have been more frustrated, upset, and angry than I have been in awhile. I would very much like to scream and punch things.  This in no way invalidates the above feelings because I feel them regardless of my emotional state...I've just gotten to the point where I can't keep the filter on any longer.

Linking up with Melissa this week.

What do you need to get out ? 

Facepalm

I logged in this morning so I could head over and hear all about Alyssa's big news (hint: it's super good news for her !) and realized that all those fun posts I scheduled...never actually posted.  Not a single one.

I can't help but laugh because honestly it's just the icing on the cake of my life at the moment. Oh well.  My intentions were good.  And I'm over here laughing so hard because I spend a good portion of my job writing policies and procedures for a company and I can't follow simple instructions.  The irony is not lost on me.

So now that I have an explanation as to why my inbox has been so empty, I'm going to go giggle to myself while I spend today making overly detailed "How to" instructions for people to follow.

Seriously guys, I can't stop laughing.  This isn't really that funny but apparently I think I'm hilarious.  I think I've lost it. Am I crazy ? (The answer is yes.)  I hope you're laughing at  with me !

What's the silliest thing you've accidentally done ?

Don't Quit Your Day Job

I would never in a million years quit my job.  Not because I'm exactly thrilled to wake up and go everyday, but because it pays the bills, gives me some dollars to do fun things, and not accumulate anymore debt.  I can live on my own and that's what matters.  Not to mention the golden rule is, you never quit a job unless you have something else lined up.  And let's not forget, "It's always easier to find a job when you have a job." So obviously I would never dream of just up and quitting.

Except dream I do.  CONSTANTLY. I'm not made to sit behind a desk in an office, wear "business casual" (WTF does that even mean ? If anyone has a definitive answer to this, please tell me. Thanks.) and waste all my time not being outside or doing whatever the hell I want.  I know, I know, I know.  I'm supposed to, I have to, that's part of being an adult, blah, blah, blah...I CAN'T HEAR YOU I'M IN DREAMLAND RIGHT NOW.

Things I would do if money were no object and I didn't have to work:

• Travel (Duh.) : Anywhere and everywhere. More specifically, I would get an RV and drive across the US so I could set foot in the 24 states I have yet to set foot in. And then off to as many islands as I could before heading over to Europe.  And since dollars don't count in dreamland, let's set foot in every continent while we're at it (I've already got 2 ! 5 more to go !)

• Run : This can pretty much be accomplished while doing the above.  But how amazing would it be if I didn't have to schedule my runs around work and adult responsibility ? Pretty effing amazing.

• Learn things : I'm a philosopher, remember ? I need to know all the things all the time. The world is huge and too many things to learn.  I need to fill my brain up. I can't even list all the things I want to do.  Just assume everything.

• Sleep In & Netflix Binge : I had a small taste of that during my unemployment and as long as it's supplemented with fun things every other day, hot damn is this not an awesome way to chill out and recharge.

• Start a dog rescue : This has to be one of the most financially and time consuming endeavors.  I would buy so much land and hire awesome people to help so I could save all the fur babies.

In summation: I want to experience life fully.  On my terms, in my own way.

But since I don't have unlimited money and DO have adult responsibility (which by the way, I'd like to return since I never signed up for this) I'll have to settle for making the most of my time outside the office.  I might just jump on the 30 X 30 bandwagon.  So, until a miracle happens that will make all my daydreaming a reality, I won't quit my day job.

If you had unlimited money and no job, what would you do ?

Don't Call it Hump Day

It drives me insane that people call Wednesday, Hump Day.  Just stop.  Please. It makes me hate life.  If you need something to focus on because it's the middle of the week, focus on Wednesday:

See what I did there ?  Here's some random Wednesday confessions for you.

Philosophy of my Mind

I've been thinking about posting some non-floofy posts recently.  Or should I call them, "Get to know the inner workings of a WeebleNugget?"  Maybe I'll just tag them, "Getting to know a Weeble."  Anywho, after having this conversation with a few people recently, I thought "Hey, maybe I'm not the only one who's constantly going 1000mph."  Also, I said I would let everyone out there get to know more about me.  So, *deep breath in* here goes...

Everyone's seen this floating around the internet.

25 Things

25 Get to Know Me’s

1. What is your middle name?: Marie.  Pretty sure every girl born in the 80's had this name

2. What was favorite subject at school?: High School would be Performing Arts or Chorus.  College was Epistemology.

3. What is your favorite drink?: I could drink white mocha soy lattes forever. I especially love when there's a shot of vanilla added.  I'm in sugary, chocolatey heaven.:)

4. What is your favorite song at the moment?: I can't pick just one, but right now I find myself gravitating towards The Pretenders "500 Miles" when I can't think of what else to listen to at the moment.

Adulting Sucks.

I really don't want to be an adult.  Mostly because I a) have no idea when I became an adult and 2) totally didn't ask to grow up. There are some major perks, don't get me wrong, but I can't count how many times I want a time machine just so I can go back and slap my younger self anytime I would say something stupid like, "Man, I can't wait to grow up !"

Homesick

Last night they lit the Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center.  I was way more sad than I should have been.  After a lot of thought, I decided that I would not be traveling to Jersey for Christmas.  There are too many factors to get into, but ultimately, I decided that staying in North Carolina was what was best for me & the monsters and my sanity. And also my wallet. I'm looking forward to seeing how I celebrate in my own way.  But I still feel like I'm missing a little piece of myself this year. 

Quirky.

Last night I had a spectacular 9 mile run.  Unfortunately, my legs refuse to ever be okay after running anything over 6 but whatever. Lots of heat and ice and elevation for me today. I've got enough problems with IT band on my other leg, so you better get your shit together Achilles tendon...

Anyway, post run, I was soaking in my bathtub (Epsom salts FTW !), eating some yogurt, watching Netflix, and texting Alyssa.  Thankfully this girl just gets me because anyone else would have totally thought doing all of those things concurrently would classify me as certifiable.

On Sunday, B and I watched Good Will Hunting.  After the whole thing was over, he told me that HE'D NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE !  I felt like a moron because I kept making comments about different scenes (again, operating under the assumption that he had seen one of the best movies ever created).  One of my favorite scenes is when Sean talks about his wife.



[Random fact: the camera shakes because the camera operator couldn't hold it still from laughing so hard - Robin improvised that scene]

Why did I tell you about my post run soak and Good Will Hunting ? Because it got me thinking about weird things people do that sometimes seem completely ridiculous to some but totally normal to others. So, I now share with you some weird idiosyncrasies I have which are totally normal to me:

• I can go run for 90 minutes without any music but need to have my phone, food, and a movie playing in order to sit still in a bath for 20 minutes. 
• I won't open a can without tap tapping the top of the can, knowing full well it doesn't do anything. 
• I won't leave my apartment without saying "Be good monsters, Mommy loves you" to the dogs. 
• When I'm at work, if I have Spotify playing in the background, no work gets done but put on a TV show from Netflix on and holy crap you wouldn't believe the amount of work that gets done. 
• I eat Smarties 3 at a time.  For some reason 2 is too little and trying to eat more than 3 at a time just doesn't work.
• When I don't have my rings on, my thumb still goes to each finger and tries to spin them even though they're not there.
• If I run in the morning, I can't have coffee before but fiend for it by the time i'm done; if I run at night, drinking anything other than water after makes me want to kill myself.
• I try to limit the amount of times I check my phone but when I do, I have 4 apps in the bottom corner that if I check one, I'm checking them all.
• If I'm the only one in my car, things have to be in a certain place so I can get them whenever I need to without taking my eyes off the road.  If someone else is in the car, they get a purse on their lap and the phrase "Can you get me my..." happens about every 5 minutes. 
• I can recite pretty much entire movies, TV series, discographies, but ask me something like "Is today Tuesday ?" and I'm all "I dunno".

So there's that. Completely random, useless, not remotely related to anything things that you didn't need to know but things that make me, me !  But I'm super nosy...what are your peccadilloes ? Tell me, tell me, tell me !

Have a good Tuesday friends :)

Insanity.

There is no excuse for my absence other than I simply haven't been able to make blogging a priority. I just need you to know that I thought about you everyday. I didn't forget about you.  I hope you didn't forget about me !

Mostly my training has been going phenomenal with some setbacks here and there. I'm currently panicking as I realize how close my 10 miler is and then the week after that is my first ever half marathon.  Um, give me a minute, I'm freaking out again.

I need to get back to my insane work schedule, but I just wanted to make sure you knew you were still loved.  I do have some fun blog posts planned (just be patient with me) like:

• Why I became a runner
• Where I see myself in 5 years
• Obsessions (including Netflix binges !)
• Anything you've been dying to know about me :)

Until then, please enjoy a random assortment of shirts I need from lookhuman.com.  You know, for when I have infinite monies and all. 

And my two favorites (because reasons for those of you who know me)

I hope everyone has an awesome week !

My Laptop Hates Me.

Bless me Blogland, for I have sinned.  It's been 2 weeks (!!) since my last confession.  Or blog post. Or any semblance of online blog presence.

It wasn't my fault though ! My MacBook decided that it didn't like its hard drive anymore and decided I needed to drop unnecessary monies into getting it a new one. So I want you to know that I still love all of you, I'm back, and the insanity that is my life can continue for all of the internets to see.  And what better way to start up again than with a confession post ?!

// In trying to look at the bright side of my computer failure (no really...it said "FAILURE" in HUGE letters) I've realized I can now start from scratch.  I'll still have everything backed up, but it's a fresh start in a sense. It's always good when you can just get rid of stuff you don't need anymore without having to sort through EVERYTHING !

// I REALLY don't want to hear about how it's automatically fall because September happened. STOP TRYING TO TAKE MY SUMMER AWAY FROM ME I FEEL LIKE IT JUST GOT HERE.

No, I am not getting my sweaters & hoodies & scarves & boots & insanity out of my closet and drink pumpkin things.  It is still summer until midnight on September 22nd.  And I will wear my flip flops and drink my iced things and drag out this summer for as long as I can.

// I want summer to stick around because training in this weather is the weirdest best motivator ever. I look at my times on my long runs and the fact that I'm running longer and farther, EVEN in this humidity and heat just makes me so excited for how I'll run when fall eventually graces us with its presence. Hopefully I'll see some crazy good improvements.  Just have to keep it up !

//  I want September to go by super slowly because I have so many awesome things to look forward to in October that I'm worried it will all go by too quickly ! I feel like I went to bed last night and it was July.

//  My last confession is also a promise that I'll be by your blogs sometime this week to play catch up and I'll make sure to update on my training.  City of Oaks is only 2 months away (as of yesterday) !!

Dead And Worth It.

I'm running on 4 hours of sleep (maybe ?).  My legs are KILLING me.  The last thing I wanted to do was get in my car this morning. I'm pretty sure the only reason I'm functioning currently has something to do with the unknown number of espresso shots in my coffee. Why ? Because I got home from Charlotte at 4AM last night from one of the most epic live shows I've seen in a while.

Confession: I'm getting too old for this shit.

Confession: I would do it all again in a heartbeat.

I want to tell you all about it.  However, 1. My brain can't function above keeping my eyes open and B. Words cannot do justice to seeing AFI, 30 Seconds to Mars, and Linkin Park all in one night.

Confession: That was my 7th time seeing 30 Seconds to Mars live.

Confession: I was never a huge Linkin Park "fan" until last night.

I had listened to their music and hell yeah did I know (and rock out to) some of the more popular songs.  But last night blew my fucking mind.  That is a band that KNOWS how to put on a show.  I have no shame in telling all of you in blog-land that I am revisiting everything they've recorded and giving it a fresh listen because DAMN IT WAS THAT GOOD !

So I leave with you with a bunch of pictures and some video clips from last night. Enjoy !

Because I'm a moron and can't read the tickets right, we missed alot of AFI and I was sad.

30 Seconds to Mars !  As always, I loved their set, but was slightly disappointed they didn't play anything (besides part of "The Kill") from albums before than This is War. 

The weather was supposed to be horrible and possibly monsoon on us.  The weather was PERFECT !

I didn't take many pictures of Linkin Park because I was too busy having my mind blown. Sorry, not sorry.

Also:

(The "after the epic night" mocha "merkshake")

Linking up for Humpday Confessions !