Wednesday, July 8, 2015

The List You Won't see on Buzzfeed

I need some major humpday confessionage today because sometimes you just have to let everything out in a no holds barred, balls to the walls, brutally honest way.

// My stress level is insane. It's getting a little ridiculous and out of control and I really wish it would stop.

// Thanks to stress, my sleeping has become basically non-existent. What I wouldn't give for a whole night of sleeping and not waking up once. I genuinely can't remember the last time that happened, it's been that long.

// My life has so many really cool things going on right now but stress is getting in the way of me enjoying a lot of it.  See the theme ? I WANT MY STRESS TO GO AWAY PLEASE AND THANK YOU.

// I'm not above asking for help.  But if I ask for help, you say yes, and then don't actually help...I won't ask you again. This infuriates me to no end.

// Right now, I want a running buddy more than anything in this world.  I want someone to do run/walk with me for the measly 2 miles my lungs can manage currently.  I want it so badly, I've actually cried about it.  Not like every run, every day, kind of running buddy, but someone that knows a good place to run and will keep me company, push me a little, and be the encouragement I so badly need right now.

// I want to be healthy but I have no idea where to start.  Internet research makes my head spin and I'm too broke to hire a nutritionist/trainer.  I had a personal trainer for a year (a giant waste) and learned maybe 2 things.  One of which is that I am not allowed to be left alone with weights.  The other is that I hate people (okay, I already knew that one, the gym just kind of reinforces it.)

// I have to go to the dentist today and I may or may not have cried at least once today from fear.  And it's only a cleaning.  Yay laughing gas !

// I want a work schedule that is more conducive to being outside and reading.  More sun = happy Lisa.

I know these feelings of rage and wanting to cry constantly will pass, and I will be back to being mildly optimistic and happy, but the past few weeks I have been more frustrated, upset, and angry than I have been in awhile. I would very much like to scream and punch things.  This in no way invalidates the above feelings because I feel them regardless of my emotional state...I've just gotten to the point where I can't keep the filter on any longer.

Linking up with Melissa this week.

Making Melissa

What do you need to get out ? 


  1. Okay but seriously why won't Brian run with you?? Or give you some motivation or routes? Does he need a talking to from me? As for healthing it up, I know there's a lot of shit to be found on the Internet but it does not all apply to you, so you don't need to internalize all of it. Find five scientifically-backed, sensical things you can do, and make those your priority. Examples: eat vegetables with every meal, eat no pre-packaged foods, drink 3 liters of water a day, stand up and take a walk every hour for a few minutes, be active for 30 minutes every day, eat a plant-based diet 85% of the time, etc. Don't strive to be perfect at being healthy. Strive to include manageable healthy habits into your life. Soon it will be a lifestyle!

  2. oh, boo :( I wish we lived closer because I would TOTALLY run with you. I know it's not the same, but would joining dailymile or sending snapchats to running friends (ie me and Alyssa) help? I have no one to run with either and sometimes I enjoy being alone but I really wouldn't mind having someone occasionally.
    As for being healthy - what exactly do you want to know? I'm no nutritionist or expert but I've been researching it for like 10 years and I feel like I know everything there is to know (whether that is true or not, ehh...) and while I might not be fabulous at applying it to myself, I have all the knowledge. I agree with a lot of what Alyssa said though. But seriously.. I'm happy to chat about it if you have specific goals or questions. Not that I'm an expert. I said that already.
    Hope your stress level goes down soon :( and your sleep goes up!

  3. ahh girl I hope your stress depletes soon!! I can totally relate, i've had some crazy stressful times. Just waiting for that light at the end of the tunnel and the stress to stop! Thankfully, that does come! But I'm sorry you're in the middle of the stressful mess right now :( i know you don't have a running buddy but maybe even just start running by yourself. load your phone or ipod with some amazing beats and hit the pavement hard. Running is typically one of my biggest stress relievers. I personally prefer running alone because then the only person I have to keep up with is myself and I can listen to my music in peace! sending good vibes your way!!
    xo, Candace | Lovely Little Rants


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