Insanity.

There is no excuse for my absence other than I simply haven't been able to make blogging a priority. I just need you to know that I thought about you everyday. I didn't forget about you.  I hope you didn't forget about me !

Mostly my training has been going phenomenal with some setbacks here and there. I'm currently panicking as I realize how close my 10 miler is and then the week after that is my first ever half marathon.  Um, give me a minute, I'm freaking out again.

I need to get back to my insane work schedule, but I just wanted to make sure you knew you were still loved.  I do have some fun blog posts planned (just be patient with me) like:

• Why I became a runner
• Where I see myself in 5 years
• Obsessions (including Netflix binges !)
• Anything you've been dying to know about me :)

Until then, please enjoy a random assortment of shirts I need from lookhuman.com.  You know, for when I have infinite monies and all. 

And my two favorites (because reasons for those of you who know me)

I hope everyone has an awesome week !

Confessions - Disney Style

By now, you all know what day it is.  So let's get to it !

// I had one of my best runs ever last night.  Not like time wise or anything, but just overall awesome.  Basically it was this:

// I'm not even going to talk about my job.  Or how much I would rather be doing anything else.  Anyone really good at resumes and want to help a girl out ?!  I am THE worst. 

// I will procrastinate HARD just so I don't have to go to work.  This morning I sat down and watched a good 10 minutes of Phineas and Ferb.  I knew it was bad when they said "I know what we're going to do today !" and I went "Yay !...Oh.  I should leave now."

// I'm that girl belting out Disney songs while stuck in traffic. My favorite part is seeing peoples reactions to me singing (and gesturing).  Priceless.  Sorry you can't all be as cool as me.

// I've been obsessed with all things Disney since the womb.  When I was little younger, on one of my first (of 10 so far) trips to Disney World, I went through the entire park screaming the Mickey Mouse Club song.  Except I couldn't spell.  So at the top of my lungs, I'm screaming singing "M-I-C-K-E-Y M-S-O-U-E !"  Yes, I thought everyone was laughing and "aww-ing" because I was cute and adorable, not because I was a moron.

// I hate seeing all those "Disney gave me unrealistic expectation about boys/hair/life" quotes.  Disney never gave me unrealistic expectations about those things.  It did however, make me think that I could be a mermaid.  I still believe that it could happen.  Seriously, any day now.

//  I don't have to buy lunch today or eat goldfish because *someone* is super awesome and put a lunch together for me !  On the outside I was all like "Aw ! Thanks !" and on the inside I was all like "OMG HE'S THE BEST HUMAN EVER AND THIS IS AWESOME AND I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW AWESOME THIS IS AND I ACTUALLY HAVE FOOD AND NOT JUNK TO EAT !"  Sorry to brag but it's pretty much the best thing to happen ever.  Even though I really want M&M's still, I need to learn that they're a snack and not a meal. Le sigh.

//  All this Disney talk has made me want to plan another trip to Disney World.  Who wants to go !?!?!  Let's do this.  I'm serious.  Group trip to the happiest place on earth ? Yes please.

What're your confessions ? Tell me, tell me, tell me !

Well, There's That.

I had a really cool idea for a post yesterday.  It ever so delightfully popped into my head as I was getting ready to fall sleep and I figured I would remember it when I woke up.  So I got up this morning, went about my morning routine, opened up a fresh page to write down the awesome idea I had and ....

Ummm...not a freaking clue.  I couldn't even begin to tell you what I was going to write about.  I thought about getting up and making notes to myself last night but the bed was comfy and the blankets had claimed me as one of their own.

So there's that.  

In lieu of anything deep and meaningful or heartfelt and inspirational, I figured what better time to tell you about one of my favorite parts of blogging: the gifs.

My obsession with gifs started about 4 years ago when I found (and have been a slave to ever since) Tumblr.  Post after post were these little 3 second animated pictures of happiness that made me giggle.  I had only hoped that one day, I too would be able to use these to emphasize my points to people.  And here we are !

I sometimes find myself rephrasing what I'm saying or changing posts entirely because I stumbled on a gif I just HAD to use. They just make things better.  I mean, I could have just said "Guys I forgot what I was going to write today, come back tomorrow for Wednesday's linkup confessions post !" like last week's and you all could have gone on with your lives.  But tell me Dumbledore doesn't sum that all up quite nicely for you and just adds awesomeness to the whole thing. 

And let me tell you, I have gifs for EVERYTHING. Like this one of Ryan Gossling to convey how you're all probably looking at this post, questioning why you're still readying and waiting for the point of this post to happen:

This one for showing you how I feel bad that I don't have anything better prepared for you:

Or this one when you realized that you're still reading a post about, well...nothing:

But you feel better about it, don't you ? Like you've been given a little nugget of joy, a small present for being awesome and reading.  So to those of you who've stuck it out and who put up with my useless rambling because my brain has decided to take a vacation today,

You're awesome and I thank you.  Now please excuse me while I head to Gigi's cupcakes for $2 Tuesdays. 

SO Done.

I want to bring you a cheery post on this Thursday/Friday.  I really do.  I want to be excited about the upcoming 3 day weekend.  But right now the only thing I can see is how completely and utterly DONE I am with my current position.

I actually really love my life.  It's been years since I could honestly and happily say that my life is awesome.  I have amazing friends, the best partner in crime I could ask for, and 2 dogs that are pretty much the coolest monsters you'll ever meet.  I'm happy (it's been a LONG time since I've said that and meant it) and healthy and I found an amazing new obsession passion and I'm doing it all in a city that I love.

What I don't love is my job.  And it's not a bad job.  It's honestly the best job I've ever had.  But it is not the best job FOR ME and it's starting to take its toll on me.  I am constantly stressed.  After the performance review on Monday, my stress has felt like it's tripled. I don't sleep well.  My appetite is intermittent at best.  I constantly feel like I'm going 100+ mph and honestly just want to slow down.  I feel like I'm gonna get a complex soon !

I know that it's me and it's absolutely my own fault for feeling like this.  I've tried to fit into the mold of "office manager".  But I'm not sure what people expected when you take a crazy philosopher who can't sit still, who has opinions about EVERYTHING, loves debating about things in order to find the best solution, and shove her behind a desk with a set schedule (but be accessible 24/7), give her boring and mundane tasks to carry out only to tell her it's not good enough.  But I keep hearing I have potential ?

So dear friends, I really wanted to bring you sunshine and rainbows today but I need to use all my energy to stay sane so that I (an other people) can stay alive long enough to make it to our 3 day weekend.  No, I currently don't have any plans.  I promise tomorrow will be better and I can't wait to share some fun Friday Favorites and another linkup !  I hope everyone has a better Thursday/Friday than I am.  Counting down the seconds until I'm out the door...

Tuesday randomness

Yesterday sucked.  It wasn't all bad, but an unfortunate event otherwise known as a performance review, sucked out all the happiness I could have had for the day in order to maintain my composure and not get myself fired.  I honestly spent most of my day confused and angry.

I did however, have a meeting with the director of MALS (Masters of Liberal Studies) at NC State and that made a world of difference.  Mostly because it made me remember that I'm not meant to be behind a desk, selling my happiness and sanity for a paycheck.  

So I'm working on rethinking my future and a few major life changes that will hopefully happen. I've made leaps and bounds in the past year about putting myself first and thinking about what is and will be best for me, not only in the short term, but long term goals as well.  In the last year alone:

• Moved to Raleigh (I was originally in Durham and hated it - no offense to those that live there and love it !) and did a giant apartment upgrade for me and the mutts
• Quit smoking after 9 years
• Joined a gym and got a personal trainer
• Started running
• Started training for a half marathon
• Got a job that allows me to be financially independent (regardless of my personal feelings about it currently)

the list can go on and on.  After feeling really down yesterday, I think it's best to remind myself of all the amazing things happening and how much good I have.  

I will say that the best part of yesterday was how amazing and wonderful the 3 most important people in my life were.  Tour guide, confidants, cheerleaders, etc, I know I can count on them for anything.  If it wasn't for them, I would NOT have the energy, drive, or hope to keep my head up and not let stupid things get me down.

MOVING ON !

Time to put all that negativity from yesterday away, keep the drive and fire it lit under my ass and focus on the fun things !  Like soccer...

Sorry all, it's not my forte.  I can talk to you for days about baseball, but you lose me during soccer.  I'll just say "Go sports !" and leave it at that.  (I really just wanted an excuse to use this IT Crowd gif that I found this morning - don't judge me)

In the wake of the mixed emotions presented in today's post, I wanted to leave you with some fun YouTube videos because they're pretty awesome and everyone needs a laugh:

This one is about a year old, but I still get a good laugh at it every time:


What're your favorite YouTube videos when you need a good laugh ?

Now it's time for this girl to go polish her resume and partake in $2 Tuesdays at Gigi's cupcakes.  Cupcakes can be lunch right ? Right.  Thanks for reading !

Favorites on Friday

I'm pretty impressed with myself for getting this post up as early as I am today ! Yay me :)  I know it's going to be a long day, so I figured it's best to get this up now before life happens.   It's been a long week and I'm so ready for the weekend !

To celebrate it being Friday and in an attempt to expand my blogger-ness, I'm doing another linkup ! 

Favorite TV show: Bob's Burgers.

I have lines from the show as my text tones, my background and phone cover coincide with Louise,

and I'm convinced that if you mix Louise and Tina together, you have my spirit animal.

Favorite thing to happen this week: I set a goal for myself and nailed it ! (Read about it here) That means my 5K is TOMORROW ! I MAY ONLY SLIGHTLY BE FREAKING OUT A LITTLE. 

Favorite Song:  I have an obsession with William Control.  I can not get enough of this man.  I've seen Adien play 3 times over the past 10 years at Bamboozle and such but it was always from afar or a random "Hey ! Awesome set !" as I ran by their merch table on the way to another stage.  However, I have gotten to actually meet Wil the last 2 times I've been to a William Control show.  He will always be one of my favortie humans as well as artists.  I've had "Illuminator" stuck in my head. So here it is to get stuck in yours !

Favorite thing to waste time on while browsing the net: CAT GIFS !  I mean who doesn't love cats being silly or stupid or jerks. Here are some of my favorites.

(AWWW !!)

(BAHAHHAHA...I never get sick of this)

(I saw this captioned with "Best use of the force ever." I agree)

(I need dis.)

(No.)

Favorite motivation for the week:  I wrote a post last week because I didn't really believe I could call myself a runner.  It's been an ongoing struggle mentally but I've been trying to push past it.  I found this a few days ago, and it really helped put things in perspective.

My favorite fun gifs:

(I dare you to be in a bad mood after watching shake puppy)

(This might be my favorite thing on the internet)

(Aww, he tried !)

And lastly, my favorite thing to do at work because my coworkers haven't figured out what it means yet:

(This needs to be the universal symbol.  I expect to see everyone doing this soon.)

So there's my first Friday Favorites post ! What are some of your favorite things ? I'm nosy, tell me ;) 

I hope everyone has an awesome weekend and thanks for reading !